LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize