There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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