I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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