he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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