I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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