Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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