READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
