What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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