Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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