but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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