Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
