everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
