i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize