I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
