Apparently you make a good broom.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
