I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You ruined the universe
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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