I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
