Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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