I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
