i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
