can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
