the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
