If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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