that's an acceptable place to lick
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
