I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
