biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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