nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
