So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
someone owes me an orgasm
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
