I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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