i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
