If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
