That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
