garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize