i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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