You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
