# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we're making bets on your personal life
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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