i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
