your room smells of hookers.
And success
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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