Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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