It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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