took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
