No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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