I'm lost and stupid without you.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
