you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Dicks are not precious.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize