I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Semen is not good for contacts.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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