My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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