Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
