I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
