check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wish i was in the wii world.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
