I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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