Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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