your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize