i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize