Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dignity is for republicans.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
