i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
