Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
