I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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