That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
