I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
