Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize