I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
