Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
