Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
