The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
