So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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