Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
