is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
