I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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