i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
